Honesty Deficit Disorder
By Dr. Charles Fay, loveandlogic.com
What do parents do when their children become truthfulness-challenged? If many adults in today’s world suffer from Honesty Deficit Disorder, who are we to think that our offspring will always be immune? The good news is that conscientious parents can turn the tide on truth-bending behavior by applying the Three E’s of Love and Logic.
The First “E” of Love and Logic: Example
Obviously, parents who act truthfully around their kids are far more likely to have kids who tell the truth. A not-so-obvious application of good modeling involves discussing our moral dilemmas with other adults when our children are within earshot. When our children overhear us talking about temptations… and how we’ve chosen truthfulness instead of deceit… powerful lessons get locked in.
The Second “E” of Love and Logic: Experience
When children lie, they need to experience logical consequences. One of the most practical involves expecting them to replace any energy they’ve drained from us as a result of their fibbing. Does lying drain your parental energy?
The Third “E” of Love and Logic: Empathy
Those who understand the Love and Logic approach understand that consequences preceded with empathy are far more effective than consequences delivered with anger, guilt, or sarcasm. An added benefit of responding to our children’s mistakes with empathy is that they’ll be far more likely to admit making them. Do you want your children to be afraid of you when they blunder? Do you want them to hide their mistakes rather than bringing them to your attention? Of course, you don’t! That’s why it’s so important to discipline with love rather than lectures.
